The Cooper Metamorphosis
by sannyrise
Summary: It’s date night and Sheldon wants to prepare something for Amy. When he gets a missing ingredient from his old apartment, he finds Penny‘s DVD of „50 Shades of Gray“. After watching it, his plans for Amy slightly change.


Int. Penny and Leonard's apartment

Penny and Leonard are out for dinner, as Sheldon sneaks into their apartment to get some milk. He walks towards the fridge, open the door, and takes the carton. As he wants to leave, he finds a DVD on the table in front of the TV.

Sheldon: 50 Shades of Gray? What kind of movie is that? Gray is not even a color. It does not need a shade, and definitely not 50. This does not make any sense. And why would they want to watch something about colors?

He turns around the DVD and reads the text on the back of the case.

Sheldon: Oh, that sounds even worse. I should better get over and exchange that with an actual good movie. They can thank me later for helping them saving their night. They are so lucky to have me as their friend.

He smiles, but as he reaches for the milk again, which he placed on the table, he accidentally touches the remote, which made the movie start that was already in the DVD player. Sheldon looks at the screen, and keeps watching. He sits down.

Sheldon: Let us see why they think this could possibly be a good movie.

After two hours, he returns to his and Amy's apartment.

Amy: Where have you been? I just came home and thought you wanted to make sure there is food on the table.

Sheldon: I had to do something first. I will tell you later about it. Let us cook first. Here is the milk for the strawberry shake. I will be right back. I have an idea.

He smiles all over his face, runs into the bedroom, and closes the door.

Amy stands confused in the kitchen.

Amy: Sometimes I wonder if I really want to have a child or if I already have one.

Int. Penny and Leonard's Apartment

A few minutes later, Penny and Leonard come back from their dinner, and walk into their apartment.

Penny: That was good, and now it is time for dessert.

Leonard: Yes, a sweet cupcake, which is definitely lactose free.

Leonard smiles and kisses Penny.

Penny: I guess as long as the baby is not born, I don't produce milk, do I? So the only one we have is in the fridge.

Leonard: We have milk here? Oh I …

He inhales deeply.

Penny: Milk does not cause you asthma. You can slow down. Let us watch the movie to get in the mood, and then I will take your breathe away.

Penny smiles, sits down on the couch. She turns on the TV with the remote.

Leonard smiles, too, and walks to the fridge.

Leonard: Yes, you are right. Let us drink two beers and relax.

Penny: Oh beer, yes. I love where this is going.

The movie starts and it is not what Penny expects. Leonard seems surprised by her choice.

Leonard: I never thought you would pick that movie. Oh, I love you.

He leans for a kiss, but she pushes him away.

Penny: What the heck is this? The history of everything? I am not here to watch something about history.

Leonard: It is a movie about Hawking's life and his groundbreaking theory.

Penny: Do I look like I want to watch something about Hawking and a stupid theory?

Leonard: The Big Bang Theory is not stupid.

Penny: I bet it is as boring as always when you talk about science.

Sheldon appears on TV.

Sheldon: Hello, you two.

Penny rolls her eyes: Every time I think I will not see him again soon, he finds a way to pop up somewhere.

Sheldon continues on screen: You were about to watch a very boring movie. I just did that for your, and it is confusing. What do you like about that? Is does not even mention those 50 shades of gray, and who is this man? Anyway, lucky you that I am your super hero and will save your evening. I replaced the DVD with a movie about my good friend Hawking. The only bad thing about this is that I am not mentioned as his best friend. I complained, but guess what: They do not consider me being relevant to the story. They have no idea, that they found themselves another archenemy.

Penny: Oh God. Why does he never know when to stop talking?

Leonard: It is probably his way of making himself somehow part of the movie.

Penny rolls his eyes, and crosses her arms in front of her body.

Sheldon: Anyway, as kind as I am, I will ignore this for the moment. It is a great movie and you will also learn something about The Big Bang Theory. What can be better than that? The history of us all. The brilliance of another man, who was on the same level of intelligence. Now all the pressure lays solely on me. I won't disappoint you my friend.

He looks up, smiles and disappears from the screen. The movie itself starts.

Penny: I have never heard of that theory, and I did not miss it. I want to watch 50 shades of sexy Gray.

Leonard: Well, it is relevant in physics, and…

He stops as Penny turns her head and rolls her eyes again.

Leonard: Your movie choice is much better. I would definitely want to watch that as well. Maybe Sheldon just hid it somewhere. We can look around.

He wants to stand up, but Penny holds him back.

Penny: Why do we not just skip that movie, and you will show me 50 shades of Hofstadter instead?

Leonard: Oh, I love where this is going. Yes, that movie you will never forget.

Penny smiles: Hopefully in a good way.

She chuckles. They both run into their bedroom.

Int. Sheldon and Amy's apartment

She hears him rumbling in the bedroom, while she is cooking in the kitchen.

Amy: Sheldon? What are you doing in there?

Sheldon: Do not come in.

Amy tries to open the door but it is locked.

Amy: Why is it locked? Why do we have a lock? What is going on, Sheldon?

Sheldon: I am preparing something. It is going to be a surprise.

Amy: I hope you will come out soon, because dinner will be ready in a minute.

She walks to the kitchen counter, picks up a bowl and places it on the table, as Sheldon unlocks the door. He walks in, wearing a nude colored onesie. When Amy saw him, she almost let the bowl drop.

Sheldon: What? You said dinner, and here I am.

She blushes, and recognizes that he is not really naked.

Sheldon: I wore it first time for Howard's wedding. No idea why I haven't worn it ever since. It is so comfortable and I do not have to worry about germs everywhere.

He smiles.

Amy: Why are you wearing this?

Sheldon: You are right. We should not start with dessert.

Amy: Well, but at least I will lose calories with this one instead of gaining some. Do you have more surprises in there?

Sheldon: I watched this movie in Penny and Leonard's apartment, and I had no idea what is possible. Coitus can make even more fun. It is like roleplaying.

Sheldon puts a scarf around his neck, and reaches for a wand.

Sheldon: I could enchant you.

Amy: With your wand?

Sheldon: Yes, of course. Then we can pretend to be on the Enterprise. Beam me into your heart.

He imitates the way the crew on the Enterprise were standing in the transporter.

Sheldon: Or I could consider you as a prisoner because you like biology more than physics, which is a bad crime.

Amy: Oh, I know. I am such a bad girl.

Amy bites her lip.

Sheldon: But first let us have dinner.

He smiles and leaves the bedroom.

Amy is confused, looks at him leaving the room and follows him. Then she rushes to the table.

Amy: Let us do that fast.

Sheldon turns around and looks confused: I thought you enjoyed our meals, because it gives us plenty of time to talk.

Amy: Yeah, yeah, we can talk faster today.

She reaches the table and starts eating out of the bowl.

Sheldon: You act strangely. Are you ok?

He sits on the chair, Amy looks at him with noodles hanging from her mouth. She talks before swallowing them.

Amy: Dure, 'm kay. Dard eadin'.

Amy slurps down the noodles.

Sheldon: Okay you are sick. We should go straight to bed and sleep.

Amy: No, I want to do the playing.

Sheldon: Really? Something has to be wrong with you. You never want to play. I thought you would probably give me another speech of me being too childish.

Amy: Maybe you could play to be a medical doctor, who will examine me intensively.

Sheldon thinks: Hmm, I think that sounds reasonable.

Amy: Okay, I am ready. Let's go.

Sheldon: What? I haven't even started eating yet.

Amy grabs his hand and drags him into the bedroom.

Amy: There is no time to wait. My condition gets worse.


End file.
